Apples to Islands

Apple-Macintosh is the worlds first trillion dollar company.  An impressive feat that the tech and personal computing giant has not really bragged about much despite its historic achievement.  But what does a trillion dollar company do with all of that wealth?  If you’re Apple, you ask if you can buy Taiwan. 

The potential merger/acquisition has apparently been in talks for some time, with many visits by the C-suite crew of Apple to their development factories at Foxconn, and multiple tours of the Apple headquarters by many Chinese government officials.  According to our sources, China is actually amenable to the potential deal, as long as Apple builds a replica Apple headquarters in Beijing for party members. 

When talking with Apple about the potential acquisition, the company merely replied saying, “It just makes sense.”  No further comment was provided.  It does indeed make sense for Apple.  A controlled environment, a stable workforce, and beachfront property.  However our talks with the Chinese government public relations department revealed that the Chinese government was also very open to allowing a very long lease upon the island as it would save them billions in military hardware costs. 

Taiwanese officials were unable to be reached due to their communications being jammed.