Cool Down

Unemployment.  A phrase that strikes fear into middle management and the least senior member of every team, and as the latest report shows, despite the heat of the summer, the U.S. job market is cooling down in a big way and several business leaders may have identified the root cause. 

Dr. Jorgen Murphson, is business researcher at Conrell University, and has been the head of the Human Capital Resources Research Center at the Williams Business School for the past 22 years.  He says the jobs market cool off has one obvious culprit that everyone seems to be ignoring. 

“The main problem of the job market is that it gets hot,” he says.  “Hot new jobs pop up all the time, but despite inflation, taxes, layoffs, wars, and any number of other causes, there is one overriding factor that cools the job market off like no other in my research—slurpees.” 

Dr. Jorgen explains in his new book, Cooler Heads, that “slurpees” is a broad term that applies to any shaved ice and syrup beverage available at most convenience stores. 

“Frosters, Slurpees, Icees, Slush Puppies, they all do a remarkable job at cooling down the labor force, and I think if congress has any sense, they will finally start listening to the research and do something about it.” 

I stopped in at a 7-12 on the way home and according to Tony, the cashier, sales for cold slush beverages haven’t slacked in 6 months, so much so, that Tony commemorated his slurpee commission bonus with a new tattoo of a slushie straw on his arm.  Looks like this job market isn’t going to heat up any time soon.