The U.S. Gov't Guide to Keeping a Balanced Budget

Balance the federal budget and you will bring the force back into balance and defeat the Sith.

Every year, in an effort to help Americans be more fiscally responsible and maintain a healthy and strong economy, the U.S. government budget office releases recommendations for consumers. 

However, this year, with impending doom of remote work and looming budget cuts, to save time, the government decided to just release the internal budget recommendations that they use every year to manage the U.S. government budget. 

Below we have compiled the best of the lengthy tome of information in a condensed fashion for you, the avid Business Company Magazine reader. 

Please enjoy the wisdom of the bureaucracy. 

·       Once the budget has been published, please shred it and just roll with whatever comes up. 

·       What’s another trillion??

·       Budget?  What budget? 

·       Don’t build bridges, dig deeper pockets. 

·       Always remember to practice S.P.E.N.D. (Spend People’s Extra Needed Dough)

·       Money, money, money, ain’t it funny? It’s a rich man’s world. 

·       For reference, rewatch the classic movie Blank Check and put it into practice. 

·       If the question, “Does the pentagon need an indoor go kart track?” comes up, than answer is always yes. 

·       Kickbacks are cool baby. 

·       Always remember, earmark! Earmark! Earmark! 

·       What’s another, Another Trillion??

·       Order the pizza, buy the brownies, make sure the residents Malawi have Snuggies. 

·       Live, Laugh, Love…to spend money on silly little projects. 

·       Make it rain baby!

·       Make sure the millions go to the right places, remember the Congo needs fiber optic cable so we can get more Cobalt. 

·       Print mo’ money, no mo’ problems. 

·       Let’s up that puppy another trillion. 

Dear God help us all.