Wolf Watch

The secret heart behind so many advances in business, is the desire to research the new and the novel and to develop it into a viable strategy for success, and in the world of securities trading research is finally paying off.  Poor Standards Research Ltd., one of the leading voices in securities trading research, has just released the findings of a two year long study and the results are nothing short of remarkable. 

Debbie Book, Senior Vice President of RD, shared the exclusive news with BCM before any other news outlet. 

“It really is remarkable, the results of this research have the potential to reshape the entire field of securities trading; after this gets released, I doubt that the market will ever be the same.” 

The premise of their research was simple, but the impact could be enormously complex.  Their main research question was this,

Does watching The Wolf of Wall Street on repeat make you a better securities trader, or are you just a finance bro toolbag?

Shockingly, to seasoned traders and toolbags alike, it actually works. 

“This is really astounding to me,” said Debbie, “The group of traders who watched Wolf of Wall Street a minimum of twice a month, outperformed our control group by a factor of nearly 7!” 

Seven times greater returns just for a few movie nights a week?!  Now that seems like an excellent return on an investment, all the traders need is a blu-ray player.

Further results of the study indicated that all participants in the Wolf group showed increased preferences for what they called cinema, higher consumption of R rated movies with explicit language, content, and nudity (usually described by participants as art) and a 407% increase in profane language in their daily conversations.  Poor Standards did not confirm whether the new traders would now be considered toolbags or not.